


A brother's heart

by helia7



Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: Gen, Grief, Hope, after the end of chapter 13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-01-13
Packaged: 2018-09-17 07:54:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9312422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helia7/pseuds/helia7
Summary: If anything happened to his sister, his heart would stop. That’s what he always thought. Before.





	

A brother’s heart

 

If anything happened to his sister, his heart would stop. That’s what he always thought. _Before_.

Yet it was still beating, still keeping him alive. It was burning in agony, and wanted to rip his chest apart, but it did not stop thumping.

He wished it would, because this was just unbearable.

He cried for days, he pleaded, he shouted and shrieked, so loud; it rippled the surface of the lake and made leaves fall. But nothing changed.

Now he was just sobbing helplessly, curled up on the ledge of a rock. At least in the dreamworld he could be alone with his grief; nobody was there to witness this awful state of his.

 

 “Um... halló?”

 The familiar voice came from quite near. _Not him. Not now._

“What are you doing here?!” his voice sounded small, like a wailing animal. He sat up and tried to wipe his face with a sleeve. It was already wet. He turned to the direction of the intruder.

“I... I just... “ The lanky, braided Icelander was shifting from one foot to another; his face, too, was a mess. “...just wanted to talk to you and say... say... I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

_Sorry?! What does he know about sorrow?!_   An inexplicable rage started to boil inside him. He didn’t want anyone to pretend to know his pain!

“You are sorry?! You?! You were there and did nothing to help her!” He was shouting in a crooked voice.“It should have been you!”

 

The hard words were crashed down like heavy iron weights; echoing across the rocks around them. They both froze.

_I shouldn’t have said that._

 “You’re right...” Reynir whispered; tears running down his freckled cheeks. “This is what I’m telling myself all the time...”

“No, I...” Onni murmured. He wished he could take his words back “...didn’t mean that.”

“It’s all right” The Icelander sobbed, staring down at his own boots.

“What are you doing here?” He asked again, this time more calmly. He beckoned the tall boy to sit down.

“Just wanted to talk to you,” Reynir said under his breath as he perched on the rock. “And to see how you were doing.”

Onni glared at him. _Why would this foreigner be concerned about me?_

“...and to thank you for your help. Again.”

“But it wasn’t enough!” Onni snapped bitterly and fought hard to hold his tears back. His magic wasn’t good enough; he failed to help her. He failed his own sister!

“You saved... well, the rest of us.” Reynir sounded almost apologetic.

“How is Tuuri?” Onni asked eagerly, even though he had spoken to her just a few hours ago. He felt a knife in his heart saying her name aloud.

“She’s.. okay... for now, I think. I’m not allowed to go near to her, you know.”

“That’s right.” Onni sighed. It was hard to keep in his mind that the safety of the _other_ non-immune was still a priority. “And Lalli?” His cousin was avoiding him every time he tried to talk with him on the radio.

Reynir hesitated. “I don’t know. He isn’t talking to anyone, not even Emil. I mean, he never really talks to anyone, but...”

He didn’t finish the sentence, but Onni understood. “Please make sure he eats properly.”

The Icelander nodded slowly. Then he just sat there in silence, hands clinging to his braid, eyes gazing sideways over the lake.  It was unusual of him.  _There is something else on his mind,_ Onni thought.

 

“Um...” he started finally “Do you think there is really nothing to be done to save her?”

Onni had been asking this himself ever since... ever since...

“They haven’t been able to find a cure for ninety years!” He clenched his right hand in a fist. It took a great effort not to slam it into the rock in frustration – like he had already done several times. Reynir’s gaze wandered down to the bloody bruises on that hand. Onni pulled his sleeves down to cover it.

“I know,” the Icelander said “but the research was done by Danes.”

“And Swedes.”

“Yes, that’s the point, Danes and Swedes.” he gestured, and gave Onni a look that assumed he knew by now what he was talking about. “They don’t have magic.”

Onni stared at him. “And what about Iceland? I’m sure there were researches too.”

“I don’t know. I know very little. I grew up rather stupid, I’m sorry.” he muttered. “But what if magic can help?” he added, more lively. “What if we still can do... something? Maybe we should ask our gods... I’m not very good at it, but... at least _we_ should try.”

It sounded so utterly naive, Onni almost felt sorry for the silly redhead. But when he looked at him; he saw a strange gleam in those green eyes. _Hope_.

“How many times do you think I prayed and begged and pleaded with the gods?! If magic could cure the rash, my sister would be healthy again by now!”

“Maybe not magic in itself…” Reynir mused “but what if there is a way to combine magic with medicine?”

Onni blinked. “How? I don’t know anything about medical things...”

“Neither do I but… we took some notes from a hospital. And I saw some of the patients at another place… their illness was cured, only… they were dead and turned into ghosts. But maybe that’s where magic can help. Or… I don’t know.”

Onni narrowed his eyes, his heart racing.  He didn’t dare to cling into this fragile hope. _Maybe..._

“I might ask that woman. Siv.” he said slowly. “They told me she worked in a research facility.”

“Yes! Please do!” The Icelander’s face lit up. “And I’ll ask Mikkel to translate me everything on those notes, and… oh, no.” He looked down on his own hands, now slightly translucent. “I think I’m waking up now.”

“No, wait!  You should tell me more!” Onni snapped at him, but he was already fading away. He could only hope Reynir will be back soon.

 

He was left alone again. His thoughts started to swirl in his mind as he was still staring at the rock where Reynir had just disappeared. Could it really be that nobody have ever used magic and medicine together in attempts to heal the rash? Could he really do _something_ to help his sister? But what? Could he really beg to the gods for further guidance? _At least we should try._

He stood up and looked at the sky. _Please, don’t let it be a false hope._

He put his hands over his heart. It was still throbbing.

Fast. Lively. Desperate.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the wonderful Kiraly for proofreading!


End file.
